Yesterday, in Sacrament meeting, our bishop was talking about becoming 'empty-nesters' over the past few months. As I sat there trying to keep my younger ones quiet and trying to keep the older ones from bugging the younger ones, I thought "That's never going to happen to us."
One of the things I've tried to teach my kids is that thier choices have consequences and once they make a choice, they have to live with the consequence. So, I started thinking about my choices and the consequences I have to live with. We chose to have lots of kids. The timing might not have always been planned, ("Oh, you must be kidding! Spencer is only 9 months old!!") but, we knew from the time we were engaged that we wanted six kids. What? I have seven?? Oh, yeah, oops. Anyway, having these kids was a consious choice. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but sometimes the reality of it is a little overwhelming. I mean, when Noah is 19 and goes on his mission, I'll be, oh, I 'm not even going to tell you the age. If you know me enough to know how old I am, you do the math. If you don't, then I'm going to be 5o. :)
Years ago, when I was pregnant with Sadie, I had a family member give me a lecture on the overcrowding of the world. I was pretty devastated at the time, as this person had been someone I really looked up to as a child. Imagine how he must feel now. I don't think I'm overcrowding the world tho'. My house is pretty crowded, but we don't take up much more room than other people. Besides, which of my kids would I not have? On certain days, I might suggest giving up my teenagers, but, seriously, they are all precious to me.
So, here are the consequences of our choice. We don't go on fancy vacations, or any vacation that doesn't have to do with camping or Lagoon. We don't wear designer clothes and our furniture is well worn. I will have children at home long after most women my age will be grandma's enjoying their empty houses. Do I want to mention the stretch marks that come after having 7 kids, 5 of which weighed over 10 pounds? No. Now, don't think it's all negative. I am an eternal optimist, and so must point out that the blessings far outweigh the trials and sacrifices.
I have seven healthy kids who, for the most part, like each other. I get hugs on a daily basis. I get to watch my husband as he tries to wrestle our oldest who is the same height as Guy, but now outweighs him by about 50 lbs. (I'm still laughing) I snuggle with at least 2 of them every morning, nothing eases tension like having a little head nuzzled in your neck. I have the opportunity to share my testimony with them and be amazed as I watch them learn the gospel and develop testimonies of their own. And the laughter, I laugh every day. There is never a shortage of antics to split my sides. They say laughter can make you live longer. Thank heaven!! Maybe I'll live long enough to see them all grow up and leave. Then I can enjoy those wonderful years the bishop was talking about where it't just me and Guy. That is, if they don't move back in. :(
One of the things I've tried to teach my kids is that thier choices have consequences and once they make a choice, they have to live with the consequence. So, I started thinking about my choices and the consequences I have to live with. We chose to have lots of kids. The timing might not have always been planned, ("Oh, you must be kidding! Spencer is only 9 months old!!") but, we knew from the time we were engaged that we wanted six kids. What? I have seven?? Oh, yeah, oops. Anyway, having these kids was a consious choice. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but sometimes the reality of it is a little overwhelming. I mean, when Noah is 19 and goes on his mission, I'll be, oh, I 'm not even going to tell you the age. If you know me enough to know how old I am, you do the math. If you don't, then I'm going to be 5o. :)
Years ago, when I was pregnant with Sadie, I had a family member give me a lecture on the overcrowding of the world. I was pretty devastated at the time, as this person had been someone I really looked up to as a child. Imagine how he must feel now. I don't think I'm overcrowding the world tho'. My house is pretty crowded, but we don't take up much more room than other people. Besides, which of my kids would I not have? On certain days, I might suggest giving up my teenagers, but, seriously, they are all precious to me.
So, here are the consequences of our choice. We don't go on fancy vacations, or any vacation that doesn't have to do with camping or Lagoon. We don't wear designer clothes and our furniture is well worn. I will have children at home long after most women my age will be grandma's enjoying their empty houses. Do I want to mention the stretch marks that come after having 7 kids, 5 of which weighed over 10 pounds? No. Now, don't think it's all negative. I am an eternal optimist, and so must point out that the blessings far outweigh the trials and sacrifices.
I have seven healthy kids who, for the most part, like each other. I get hugs on a daily basis. I get to watch my husband as he tries to wrestle our oldest who is the same height as Guy, but now outweighs him by about 50 lbs. (I'm still laughing) I snuggle with at least 2 of them every morning, nothing eases tension like having a little head nuzzled in your neck. I have the opportunity to share my testimony with them and be amazed as I watch them learn the gospel and develop testimonies of their own. And the laughter, I laugh every day. There is never a shortage of antics to split my sides. They say laughter can make you live longer. Thank heaven!! Maybe I'll live long enough to see them all grow up and leave. Then I can enjoy those wonderful years the bishop was talking about where it't just me and Guy. That is, if they don't move back in. :(
.JPG)
5 comments:
I enjoyed this post. It's funny how different ends of the sepctrum can feel the same pressures from society. I only have the two and I feel like I always need to justify why I stopped there. I always intended on 6. My plan was to have one every two years till I had all 6. Didn't take us long to learn we'd be a small family. After Kowhai was born and the doctor confirmed our feeling to be done, I was soooo sad. I've just put my all into the two I have. So I'm happy for you and your 7, you'll feel no criticism from me!:) While most of my friends are still raising their children, I'll be an empty nester. I can relate from an opposite end.
I also enjoyed this post. My feeling could mirror yours. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed and wonder if I'm ruining my kids by not giving them all the attention they need. But then I'll walk in a room to see Megan reading to Hannah, or Josh wrestling with Joe and I know they are fine...more than fine. Thanks for your words of wisdom
oh jules! you always crack me up. i think you're a great mom and your kids are lucky to have you!
I remember you telling me about the family member who gave you grief over having so many kids - poohoo to her! I always thought I'd have three or four kids - I just didn't know it would come as a blended family.
I feel like you are doing a great job. Heck I only have 3, which is the least in the DeMille family, and we still don't get to do all the fun stuff. I still have to cut corners with finances, but that's just life. My kids have never had a fancy vacation, and my furniture is ancient and stained, but that's not what's important. You give your kids all the love and attention you can, and they'll be all the better for it. I grew up in a large family, and I've never felt bad that we didn't go to disneyland or out of state vacations because I had the best Mom and Dad in the world and that means more. I admire you so much and wish I could have had a few more, I'm really missing the little kid stuff.
Post a Comment