Looking Back

I've been thinking alot about the past year and all that has happened. It was a good year. We didn't have any major illnesses or anything. I managed to not strangle any of my children when report cards came home, and they somehow forgave me all my mistakes of mothering. (You'd think after all this time and this many kids that I'd be better at it, I'm not.)
I always try to take inventory of my life and see if I've changed or improved over the past year. I always hope that I'll be smaller when the big ball drops next time. 20 pounds wasn't my goal, but it's better than nothing.

The other goal I always have is to become more spiritual. I know that alot of years went by that I just stagnated. With young babies and toddlers in tow, it's hard to focus on spiritual things. Church is not much more than an endurance test- can you make it through three hours without pulling out your hair? Now that my kids are older, I can focus more on those things. I tried to keep up with the Sunday School reading and tried to remember to read the RS lesson. I did learn alot from church this year, we have a great ward with wonderful teachers. But, as I reflected on this year, I realized my spiritual growth came in some very different ways.

There's a great quote by President Uchtdorf from the general Relief Society meeting. He said, "The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty-and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children. Our birthright-and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth-is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things."

I have had a year of creating. It's been amazing to me to find new ways to create. I've always loved to make things. I've been called 'crafty'. What I haven't been called is a seamstress. I can sew. Thanks to my mom and a few years of 4-H I can run a sewing machine and follow a pattern. I don't like it, though. I don't have the patience or the perfectionism needed to make clothes. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I love to quilt!! I started because a couple women in my ward starting a quilting group. I thought, 'What the heck. It might be fun, and I'll get to know some women better.' It was fun. I made one quilt top, then before I could finish it, I decided to make a quilt for my brother's wedding. I have to say, it turned out beautiful. I've never made a quilt before and this gave me such a great feeling. And, now I'm addicted. I already have plans to make one for each of my children.

The other creative outlet I've discovered is this blog. If you haven't already figured it out, I love to write. I always have. I started writing poetry when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I've finished my one book and am working on a couple more. But, this blog has been my real outlet. I've written more in the past nine months than ever before. I find myself thinking of things to write and laying awake at night as I write in my head. I've learned that the parable of the talents is true and as we work on the talents we have, the Lord really will increase them. As we create, our desire to create is increased as is our ability to do so.

I do have some goals for this next year. (Another 20 pounds would be great.) I think the biggest one will be to continue to find new ways to create.

Thanks to all of you who read my blog. I hope you have a happy and creative New Year!

Merry Christmas Eve

We made it. It's here at long last. Really? We knew it would get here. As an adult, the Christmas season speeds by at light speed. Wasn't it just yesterday that they started playing Christmas songs on the radio while I put the jack-o-lanterns in the garbage?? I always say I'm going to make the most of the season and do new things to really enjoy it. Then, suddenly it's Christmas eve and all my good intentions are with the rotten jack-o-lanterns. Remember when we were kids and the Christmas season dragged on? I'm sure it's the same for my kids. It doesn't help that we (meaning the whole world, especially the media) hype it up the whole time. With Christmas shows on TV and programs and parties at school, songs on the radio, decorating the tree, going to see Santa, buying gifts, wrapping gifts, making treats- it's a wonder they don't have high blood pressure! But, it gets here and all the waiting pays off.


It was so much simpler when I was a kid. We waited impatiently for those Christmas programs on TV. None of this cartoons everyday with Spongebob or Yo Gabba Christmas specials. We had the classics and we never missed them. We decorated a real tree with glass ornaments that you had to be very careful with. Never failed, each year there would be one that didn't last in it's


flimsy box. We painted our front window with spray snow and put tinsel on the tree, clumps and all. We went carolling. My mom made all kinds of candy from scratch, fudge, divinity, cream candy and carmels that could break your teeth. We loved it all! We went to see Santa and refused to sit on his lap, can you blame us? Some big guy we don't know with a bad, fake beard.
Then, finally, it happened-Christmas Eve. This was the day filled with magic. Only 24 hours to go. I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach as I anticipated the coming day. Sometimes we would go to grandma's, or we'd stay home. But, we always sat around the tree that night and dad would read the Christmas story from the Bible and we would act it out, with towels and bathrobes as costumes. We'd turn out all the lights, except the tree and sing carols. Then, they'd send us to bed where we thought we'd never sleep.
I still love Christmas eve, we go to my parent's house and have a big dinner, then play "Pass the present". Dad still reads the story and the kids still act it out. Then, we sing, my favorite part. I like Christmas day, watching my kids open their loot, but for me, Christmas eve is where it's at. Surrounded by my family, talking, laughing, eating. I can forget that I didn't get my cards out (again), that I didn't have enough money(again), and I can focus on the real meaning of the season-being with the ones I love and remembering my Savior.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Grateful for Primary Children's

I know, I haven't been keeping up on here lately. I feel like my life is a VCR (remember those?) and it's stuck on fast forward. I keep trying to find the pause button, but to no avail.

So, this is my gratitude post, in addition to updating on what's going on. I spent my day at PCMC today. Hunter has been doing this 'blinking thing' where he blinks rapidly for several seconds. His pediatrition said it's probably a tick, which he would most likely outgrow, but it could be seizures. So, she ordered an EEG and an MRI.

We spent the day in two different areas with several different people who were so good to us. Here's where the gratitude comes in. I'm sooo grateful for these people who are dedicated enough to go to college and finish and go on to serve other people. The staff at Primary's is always so concientous of the kids and what they need. I'm grateful that they are also very aware of the parents and the fact that these procedures are hard on us as well.

Hunter hates having his hair and/or head touched in any way. Just washing it is a chore. Having the tech clean it with an abrasive soap then attatch electrodes with gel and tape was a bit distressing. (He was fine, though, as I continued to assure him he wouldn't have any shots today.)

He laid quite still as she wrapped his head in gauze. He followed her directions and when she left us alone in the dark room, he even slept. I'm grateful for prayers answered, as I've been asking for lots of help today, and I got it.

After the EEG, he was thrilled that he got to go pick out a teddy bear, which he named, Bear. Bear's favorite color is gold, just look at his bow.

After a couple hours wait, we went in for the sedation for his MRI. I knew he was being sedated, but thought it would be through an oxygen mask. OOPS. No one told me he had to have an IV. After assuring him all day that he wouldn't have any shots, he had to have the mother of all shots, one that stays in! He was not happy. The nurses were great, and praised him and his toughness and brought him a load of prizes to choose from. He reacted well to the meds and fell asleep quickly. He got through it fine. We'll have the results in about a week.

This is where he is right now, sleeping off the anesthesia. Tomorrow he'll get the Happy Meal I promised him.

I'm just so thankful to have a state-of-the-art
facility like this one so close to us. I cannot
count how many times we've been there in
the past 16 years. Every one of our kids has
'visited' except Sadie. We've delt with every-
thing from broken elbows, to a swallowed penny,

to finger infections and a snack of wild mushrooms. We've never had anyone stay, except Hunter when he was 5 weeks old and had RSV. So, although I can drive there with my eyes closed, we're blessed in that we've never had anyone seriously ill. But, it's good to know that if we did, we have men and women who are prepared to take care of my precious cargo.

Sometimes, you gotta laugh....

An Open Invitation to Primary

Have you ever thought that the world (especially Hollywood) could benefit from a few visits to Primary? Honestly, I think it would do them alot of good. There are some basic principles taught there that they could really learn from. Don't mean to get on a soap box, but after this morning, I feel the need to say something.
In the mornings, our television watching mostly consists of Nickelodeon and Noggin. But, in between shows, I'll turn on the news. I like the Today show and will watch it for a few minutes at at time. Now, I'm pretty sure the producers of the Today show know what time they're on and they must know that there are children in the house and awake when their show is on. Imagine my surprise, then, when they showed picutures from the new GQ magazine with Jennifer Aniston on the cover. She's beautiful, as always, she's also wearing a tie. Not suit and a tie, or even a shirt and a tie, just a tie. Hello. I live in a house full of boys (a couple of which are very much into puberty), I also have a 12 year-old daughter who is very impressionable. Thing is, it didn't end with the cover. They also showed the inside pictures, one she had on a shirt, unbuttoned, and then another one with the tie, but this one she was laying down and the tie wasn't doing much to cover her.

"Crap! Where's the remote???? Why can't I find it when I need it?"

Hunter- "Mom, she's naked!"

"Yep, she is." Dangit!!

Matt Lauer, "Hey, could we show those pictures again?" Wipe that stupid grin off your face, Matt! I'm sure your wife is thrilled that her husband is acting like a horny teenager for the whole world to see!

Whew, found the remote, back to Spongebob. Thank heaven he wears a shirt and pants with his tie.

I don't know who I'm more upset with, Ms. Aniston for posing for such smut or the Today show for showing it to my children. (If you're judging me for the whole TV thing, don't. It's the Today Show.)

So, back to my point. There are A LOT of people in this world who need a Primary lesson or two. Maybe a visit to Young Women's would help. They've added a new value, did you know that? It seems very appropriate at this moment. It's Virtue. What an old-fashioned idea.

I think that's what's needed now, though. A return to some old-fashioned ideas. Things like, kindness, love for our neighbor, being clean in thought and word, oh, and modesty. It's hard enough trying to teach our children right from wrong without bombardments like this. I guess it's a sign of the times and it's not likely to get any easier.

I'm not one to do things like write letters to the editor, but this time I'm making an exception. It's the "Mamma Bear" effect. Threaten my baby cubs and I'm going to protect them. Even if all I'm protecting them from is a tie.

I don't really like snow. It's cold, wet and dangerous. I don't like driving in it, or shoveling it, walking in it, or driving in it. I don't ski or snowboard or sled, so there goes that. I don't like having to clean up after my kids have been out in it. (Kids love it, but what do they know?? They eat candy out of the couch and drink pool water.) Did I mention that I don't like driving in it? So, with these feelings, after an all-day snow storm that left a good four inches on our trampoline and driveway, why am I smiling? Because it's Christmas.

Why do we want snow at Christmas? There obviously wasn't any at the first one. Spring in Bethlehem couldn't have had a blizzard. Good thing. Poor Mary having to travel all that way while hugely pregnant. The last thing she needed was to navigate that donkey over snow! Anyway, Iwas trying to figure out my need for the dreaded white stuff during this time of year. It's not that I grew up with only white Christmases. I had eight of them in Arizona where the only thing that resembled snow was the flocking we sometimes sprayed on our tree. I think it's partly because I live in Utah. Utah is beautiful in the spring, summer and autumn. But, once the leaves fall, it's ugly. Brown grass, bare trees, empty flower beds. (and in my case, a messy backyard). Give me a little snow and suddenly everything is gorgeous, including my back yard.

What I know is that when the snow finally flies, it's like a switch is turned on and it suddenly feels like Christmas. I open my blinds and watch it fall. Big, fat flakes, slowly drifting down. It's so beautiful. I turn on the lights on my tree and turn up the music. Get me some cocoa and a blanket and a Twilight book, I'm good. The happy feelings of the season fill me up and I can enjoy the incredible sight of a downy blanket thrown across the city.

I'll endure the soggy messes and having to drive in it and on it, because when it comes down to it, it's worth the sacrifice. Come on, let it snow!!

Seventeen Years Grateful

I met Guy when we were both serving as missionaries in the Rochester, NY mission. Not a mission romance, he had a girlfriend who was very faithfully waiting at home and I had a 'sort-of' boyfriend. Anyway, after we both got home and got rid of the others, we started dating. We were engaged after about 2 months and married 3 months after that.

So,seventeen years ago today, we knelt across the temple alter and kissed for the first time as man and wife (not the first time ever, I wasn't that girl!). Look at that mischevious grin!! I think about that day and how innocent and naive we were about the future. But, that's the great thing about being young and in love. If you really knew what was in store, you'd probably run screaming in the other direction when anyone mentioned marriage. It all seems so wonderful and free. And it is, don't get me wrong. I Love being married. I couldn't have picked a more perfect man for me. (Sorry, babe, you're in here again.) He is kind and sweet and so incredibly considerate. He's the hardest worker I know. He's a great father and friend. And, somehow, after all the years, the tears, the ups and downs, it seems that he adores me. Go figure. That's ok, because I love him fiercely and don't know how I'd ever live without him. He grew up in a family so different than mine, which means alot of the ways he gives and recieves love are different,too. But, he has tried-and succeeded- to learn my ways. He gives me backrubs and buys me chocolate. He lets me nap when the kids are running chaotic and takes me on dates when we both need a break. (Which is often!)

To sum it up, today I am grateful for my marriage and my truly wonderful husband. An image of Eternity only looks good when he's there next to me.

Can You Say Gross?

I don't know when my aversion to spiders began, but I have a couple of experiences that must've added to it.
One was when I was in jr. high. We lived in Arizona and one evening we were all in the living room when this huge, round, sort of flat spider ran out into the middle of the room. Someone hit it with a shoe. Hundreds of teeny, tiny spiders spilled out of the big one and scattered across the floor! My mom, (in her motherly wisdom) grabbed a can of bug spray and sprayed all the babies. Bluhhh. (That's me shuddering.)
{I would've put a picture on here, as you know I like putting pictures on my posts. BUT, spiders do not deserve to have thier pictures taken, let alone put on my blog. (My oldest, knowing my feelings had a yellow spider picture as his screen saver. Teenagers are wonderful.) The only place a picture of a spider belongs is in the dictionary under the words- disgusting, gross and icky.}
The next one was on my mission. My companion and I went to a members house one p-day. When we got to the front door, there was an enormous spider web on the doorframe. It started at the top of the door and ended at just below my shoulders. There was, of course, a giant spider on the web, working furiously, no doubt proud of her creation. We knocked on the door, carefully so as not to touch the web. The member, (who we'll call Ursula to protect the innocent and/or strange) answered and we said, "Get a broom or something to knock that down!" Oh, no, she told us it's beautiful, let's leave it there. Honestly, what did she think? That she could just leave it there forever and everyone would just duck under it? That's what we did, duck under it and go in. A couple hours later when we were ready to go, I had put the web out of my mind. Yep, you guessed it. I opened the door and walked right into it, face first! I immediately fell to the ground (in my dress, no less) and was screaming and batting at the sticky mess, sure that the humongous arachnid was somewhere on me. (She wasn't. She was probably watching me, wondering why I destroyed her new home. I'll tell you why, webs don't belong on houses. We were in North Carolina for heaven's sake. There are trees everywhere! What did you think you were going to catch on a house? A human? Congratulations, you caught me!)
So, now, I'm a responsible mother and wife. Spiders? I still don't do spiders. In our townhouse, we got lots of big, brown ones in the basement. One day there was one on the stairs. I found a mason jar and put it over the spider, trapping it. And left it until Guy got home. Have you ever squished a small bug? You know that sound it makes? Imagine the sound of smashing a big spider. No thank you!
Fast forward to last night. I was peacefully watching 'Return of the Jedi' (not my favorite of the series, but still a good one). I was sitting next to Guy, with Max on the other side, going to sleep. I had a blanket over me. Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see some movement on my blanket. I look down and there is this revolting spider climbing up. What is she thinking? That I want an eight-legged demon on my lap? I don't always want my dog on my lap and he's cute, furry and cuddly! I quickly weighed my options. I could flick it off, but then it might land on one of the kids (if it landed on Adam, that would've been justice). Also, it was creeping slowly on the blanket, if I knocked it off, it would go into running/attack mode and might get away, or come back for me. So, I simply said to my sweet, spider-killing spouse, "Could you get this 'thing' off me?!" He hesitated, obviously weighing the same options I had. Then, he bravely picked up the blanket and took the monstrosity into the kitchen where he disposed of it. YUCK! He tried to put the blanket back on me, "I don't want that now!" I'll be washing it today.
So, what's the point of this post? I don't know. Just wanted to share my revulsion with you. Merry Christmas!