Motherhood = Insanity

I decided I need to blog regularly under this title. I love being a mom, I really do. (I have seven children, hello.) But, though I love the little monsters, they do drive me crazy on a regular basis. Here's the most recent insanity-producing, gray-hair-causing example.

My two oldest boys have glasses. Adam has had them for a year, Jacob for two and a half. They have been bugging me for contacts for a long time. I kept putting them off, "can't afford it", or "you're not old enough". Well, with both of them working at Camp Kiesel this summer and also going on a week-long scout camp down the Green River, I decided it was time. (They can thank Pres. Bush and his stimulus checks, or I still couldn't have afforded it.) So, much to their delight, I made an appointment at America's Best.

Now, I've been wearing contacts for more than 20 years, so it's pretty second nature for me. I don't use a mirror to put them in or take them out. But, I also don't remember having a hard time learning to put them in. Maybe it's been too long. Heaven knows I've lost enough brain cells through 7 pregnancies to forget almost anything. I just wasn't prepared for the struggle they were going to have. After their exam, we sat in the 'contact' room for over 30 minutes while they tried to get the stupid things in their eyes. At one point, I tried to help Adam. It was then, that I realized he has inherited something from his dad. He can't touch his eye with anything, including his own finger, without his eye rebelling and squinting shut. Imagine this- he has one hand holding his upper lashes up, the other is trying to simultaneously hold the bottom lashes down and poke the contact into his eye. All the while, his eye is pulling against him, trying to close. Holy crap!

You'd think it couldn't get worse. Oh, but it does. Taking them out that night was a chore, but worse than that, the next day, they each lost one! So, they wear their glasses and I get to drive back to Ogden to get replacements. Lucky for them, they have disposable ones. When I first got contacts, you got one pair that you wore for months and replacing them was EXPENSIVE. I tried to help Adam one morning when he was having a particularly hard time. I was trying to pry his lids apart and get the lense in without it folding over. "Open your eye!" I told him through clenched teeth. "I'm trying, Mom." I wasn't proud of my patience level.

They've been at it for a week, and are getting better. They have to get up early for school, so they have time to get them in. I'm hoping it was worth it. I know there's a lot of freedom in having contacts and they both like wearing them. I just hope they don't go through a three-month supply in two weeks. It's possible. After I picked Adam up from school today, we were on our way home when I saw that one of his contacts was on his finger. "When did that come out?" I asked. "In second period." he answered. "What?!? Isn't it all dried out and hard?" He looks at me, "No, I've been keeping water on it." Oh, boy.